So, I know it's Tuesday. Period. I actually had bigger plans for that sentence but it just felt right to stop there. I know it's Tuesday for several reasons... Some of you thought I was going to say because it sure was one heck of a Monday yesterday! But that is just obvious pandering and I won't stand for it. First, there is lots of trash in my garage to go out to the raccoons curb tonight. Honestly, there is always trash in there but you know... for argument's sake and all that. Second, I feel an overwhelming amt of disdain and apathy towards today, thus my original thesis that today is in fact Tuesday. Also, and equally as disturbing, has anyone else spent their entire life up until this point thinking disdain was really spelled with a T? I was so confused by that squiggly little red line under my "version" of the word today and would like to give yet another shout out to the good people over at Dictionary dot com for having my back yet again. The alarming admission that I just discovered this well known spelling truth should really only seal the Tuesdayness of today. This day is already quite disconcerting and it's only 10am.
In other uncomfortable news, Ex-Modern Husband and I have reached yet another inevitable milestone. Was it the sad passing of the 3rd anniversary of our divorce becoming final you ask? Ummm, seriously no. Nothing says, "I would divorce you all over again!" like a small but dignified celebration each year on Sept 17th. Wikipedia says that crystal or glass is the traditional 3rd anniversary gift. Although surely they must have been referring to people who did not accomplish epic marital fail, twice as Modern Ex-Husband has... I must tell you, if you are recently divorced or considering divorce, possibly more important than a good lawyer, is your sense of humor. Keep it alive, nurture it regularly. Let off steam in slanderous ways with malicious and defamatory statements.
Now, I on the other hand, have only one defeat notched into my belt so I purchased a fine glass frame with which to encapsulate the aforementioned court documentation. I tucked it into my hope chest next to a handmade baby blanket and my head gear from Jr. High.
Wikipedia also mentions leather as a more traditional 3rd anniversary gift but I think we can all agree that would take us in a blogging direction we would regret.
No, the unavoidable moment I am describing is the unlikely September coincidence where we finally have a mutual friend on Facebook. Truthfully, I am kinda surprised it did not happen sooner what with all the nonsense and goings on in this small community of people who cannot figure out how to act around us. Thankfully the mutual friend we share this bond with is a sharp person who has always seemed fairly unimpressed with any drama. I am confident this will go off without a hitch... If not, the post-mortem on where it all went horribly wrong will indeed generate another thrilling blog post if not at least provide much entertainment for my inner circle of family and friends who regularly share my disdain for the state of our dissolved union.
I just feel like using that word in a sentence again! It's like I just can't believe I had it so wrong. You know the way you felt when you finally knew all the right words to The Pina Colada Song? Which is actually a stellar example in and of itself since the real title of that song is "Escape" It's a lot like that.
You know you have to go download that song now, right? Or at least move it into a current playlist, because who are we kidding... We all own this song whether we fess up to it or not. So, by no fault of your own, it will be rattling around in your head all day. My gift to you. Hey, it's not glass or crystal, but I think you appreciate the thought behind the gesture.
